just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize