Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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