Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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