I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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