Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
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I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
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