she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize