i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
