I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
