wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
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I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
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Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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