Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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