dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
