Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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