He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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