I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
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I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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