i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
