Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize