Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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