I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
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If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
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Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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