So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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