so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
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You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
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I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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