Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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