break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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