Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Randomize
