absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Randomize
