idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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