she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
