i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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