Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
