i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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