No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
