loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
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