I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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