exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
