My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
