I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
