I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize