Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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