I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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