Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
