So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
