i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Randomize
