my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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