we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize