well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I just want nice things and good sex
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
