The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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