Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
