Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
