her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
