your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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