My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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