did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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