Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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