After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
