i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
MIDGETS
????
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
