she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
honey bunches of taint.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
So vagazzling was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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