We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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