Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
