just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Alive.
So much puke
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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